As I am behind the wheel, learning how to drive, being taught by a father, who instructs me with such calamity. I ponder the thought and I bring it up to God, could this moment last forever.  I never thought I'd ever have an earthly father, let alone one who is biologically mine.  It's hard. Coming from a place where you've been shut down so many times, talked down onto.  It's like in that moment the world stopped. I laughed, had sweaty palms, excited to be driving but mostly being cautious and did my best to listen and pay close attention to the road as my dad spoke, he spoke of the wonders of God, his word and asked me questions, all to keep my mind occupied from me being the one in the driver seat.  That night, I cried so hard.  Death.  No one is on their death bed. Yet, I cry so hard.  I sit on the side of my bathtub and let the tears just pour out.  My words coming out in such agony. The world is dying, precious moments such as I had earlier ...